Husband’s heart attack ruined our sex life

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for many years. I am in my 40s, and I am still reading it. Sometimes I buy THE STAR and take it home, and after I have eaten my dinner and had my shower, I read your column.

When I am not in Jamaica, my husband buys the paper and save each copy until I return so that I would not miss any of your publications.

I am having a problem because my husband had a heart attack, and now he is very reluctant to have sex with me. He said that he is afraid. I have assured my husband that I would take my time with him.

I used to enjoy the missionary position every time my husband and I had sex. I liked having my husband on top. Since he had the heart attack, he is afraid to be on top. I told him that we could switch positions and that I would go on top, but he said he does not feel like he is a real man because a real man ought to do his job on top of a woman.

I don’t know how to convince my husband that he should not be fearful about us having sex. I spoke to his doctor, and the doctor told my husband what to do and what not to do. He also assured him that he can continue having sex because he is in good shape. But my husband is so fearful, you would not believe.

Now, when he gives me oral sex, I don’t fuss; I enjoy it just as before. But I am longing for him to have real sexual intercourse with me. Do you have anything to say?

H.

Dear H.,

I am not a medical doctor, but from doing my own research, I know that a person can have an enjoyable sex life even after surgery. From what you have written, I can see that you are ready to compromise with your husband, but fear has taken over and he is not willing to take chances.

Continue to take time with him. Everything is going to be alright. Don’t give up on him.

Pastor