My girlfriend is too vulgar in bed

Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old man, and I am having a problem. This problem has caused my mother to ask me not to bring my girlfriend back to the house or allow her to sleep over.

I used to have another girlfriend, and I was able to take her to the house and have her stay with me in my room. My mother didn’t have any problem with that, but this girl became a Christian and told me that she did not want to sleep with me anymore. I told her that was alright with me because I am not yet ready to go into church.

I started seeing another girl, and I am deeply embarrassed. My mother is not a Christian, so she is not against me bringing my girlfriend to the house. I have two sisters. They live with their boyfriends, so I share this house with my mother. The rent is $70,000. I pay $50,000 and my mother pays $20,000.

My mother has a man, but he does not live with us. She is always complaining that he is not giving her enough money. So, I asked her why she is still with him, and she said it is not only money a woman wants from a man, so I got the message.

One night my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to make lots of noise — so much so that my mother left her room and knocked on my bedroom door about 12:30 in the morning. I asked who it was, and my mother identified herself and asked me what the problem was. I told her nothing was wrong. I then told my girlfriend to keep quiet and not embarrass me.

The next morning, my mother asked my girlfriend if I was choking or beating her. She told her no.

But my girlfriend did it again. This time, she was instructing me what to do by using the F-word. She was so loud that the landlady heard her and told us she would have to give us notice to leave because my girlfriend is too vulgar.

We don’t want to leave because the rent is reasonable. At the same time, I don’t want to lose my girlfriend. One night, when she was carrying on, I had to grab a rag and push it into her mouth to keep her quiet.

My mother says that whenever we want to have sex, we should go to a motel. The landlady told us she has never had that experience with any other tenant, and she has been renting out her place for the past three years. This girl told my mother that she can’t help it. She said she didn’t want to embarrass either of us, but that I do it very nicely.

What suggestion can you make?

Y.

Dear Y.,

Your landlady has threatened to give you and your mother notice to leave her premises because of the excessive noise that your girlfriend and you are creating. Your girlfriend has declared that she cannot avoid making a commotion whenever you are making love. She told your mother that she has to make noise.

But, young man, I am wondering what in the world you are doing to this young woman.

Years ago, a young man mentioned to me that his girlfriend spent a night with him and, while they were making love, she was also making a lot of noise. He was unaware that people in the adjacent apartment could hear them. The following morning, when they were leaving for work, the young men from the other apartments applauded him. They told him he had done a good job and that they had been listening to what was happening.

Although he laughed about it, he was embarrassed and never allowed his girlfriend to return to his apartment. Some women are very expressive. Some even use expletives while having sex.

It is better not to have sex with this girl at your place than to lose an apartment with such reasonable rent. This girl needs a place of her own.

Pastor